Libertyville Family Law Blog

Dating red flags that could lead to divorce

You don't have to get married to see that divorce is on the horizon. In fact, many red flags crop up while you're dating. Couples often overlook them, get married, and then feel a bit stunned when they file for divorce. The reality is that the signs were there all along.

Maybe you're already in the second stage: You and your spouse tied the knot. You're wondering if it's time to end things. Well, here are some of the most common dating red flags. If you saw any of these in your own relationship, they could explain why divorce now feels like the right option.

Stay-at-home parents may want a postnup

A postnuptial agreement, signed after your wedding day, is similar to a prenuptial agreement. It sets aside certain assets and/or addresses pressing property division questions. If you decide to get divorced, you already have that agreement in place.

The need for a prenup is clear: If you worry about divorce, you want to protect yourself financially in advance. It's your way of saying that you want to get married, but you understand that doing so puts you into a legal contract with someone else. You want some way to spell out the terms of that contract to protect your own assets if the marriage doesn't work out.

Dividing your retirement assets after divorce

If you're getting divorced when you're closing in on your retirement, your financial future may be the main focus of the divorce. Your children already moved out of the house, so you don't have to worry about custody issues. You already paid off your home and other major debts, so other aspects of property division may appear very simple. But you have spent the last few decades planning for retirement, and you want to know exactly what impact the divorce is going to have on that plan.

It could be significant. Your retirement plan may count as a marital asset, meaning you have to divide it with your ex.

Stressed out? It could lead to a divorce

Stress is one of the most common issues people face in the United States. It can impact your mental and physical health. It can come from all manner of sources: work, friends, school, family, etc. In many cases, people worry about minor issues and create a lot of additional and unneeded stress for themselves.

While there are a lot of problems with the prevalence of stress, here's one more thing to consider: Some experts believe it can help end your marriage and lead to a divorce.

Mediation: Getting along with your ex

Mediation gives you and your spouse a chance to work on your divorce agreement in a controlled setting where you make your own decisions. This can help keep your case out of court, where a judge will make a ruling. While trial cases are sometimes helpful, they do turn that control over to the judge, and you then have to follow the court order. With mediation, you can retain control and find the appropriate solution -- within the bounds of the law, of course -- along with your ex.

Naturally, though, this means that you and your ex have no choice but to get along and work together. That's not always so easy. You're in the midst of a rather emotional situation. You may not be on the best of terms. One of you may feel angry about the divorce. It's complicated.

Children first: 10 things you should do after a divorce

Divorce is hard on you, so imagine how it can feel for your children. They cannot control the situation. They didn't choose it. And it still puts their lives into the same sort of turmoil that you face.

The key is to put the kids first. Focus on them. Work hard for them. Understand how they feel and what you can do as a parent to make this easier. Here are 10 things you should do:

Your Illinois prenuptial agreement may not hold up in court

Asset division, or the process of splitting up both your possessions and your debts, is one of the most contentious parts of a divorce. More couples than ever before are seeking to eliminate the stress by signing prenuptial agreements. A prenup is basically a contract outlining how you plan to handle a divorce.

Unfortunately, many people execute these documents with heart-shaped stars in their eyes. They imagine that they will be married forever, and the terms of the prenup are not important to them.

Yes, you can modify child support orders after a divorce

The end of your divorce is often a time of muted celebration. On the one hand, you've just ended a major relationship, which can be a source of sorrow. On the other, however, is the fact that you have a fresh start and a future that's now wide open. You may also simply be glad that the process is officially over. Now you know what assets you can keep, what the terms for custody will be and how much child support you have to pay.

Feeling relieved about the finalization of your divorce is completely normal. It's also common to believe that those terms are written in stone. As you move on with your life, you may soon find that your situation changes, leaving you in a position where child support as ordered is no longer reasonable or workable with your budget. At that point, you'll be glad to know that you may have the option of adjusting support levels.

Mediation can be a great resource for a fast and affordable divorce

One of the biggest issues with getting a divorce is the amount of time the process requires and the potential for major expenses along the way. If you and your spouse don't agree to terms regarding serious issues likes child custody and how to divide your assets, it could lead to a contentious, drawn-out divorce in court. However, it's important to realize that isn't your only option.

For many couples, mediation offers a great alternative to a combative divorce in the courts. Choosing mediation is sometimes much faster and more affordable than a court-based divorce. More importantly, you could reap many benefits from mediation, including more control over the final terms of your divorce and less stress and damage to any children from your marriage.

Top reasons why people get divorced

Some people think that infidelity is the main reason why couples divorce, but the reality is that there are many reasons why married couples choose to go their separate ways. Right now, you may be wondering if you should file for divorce and you could have reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with cheating.

The reasons for divorce range from financial problems and lack of communication to simply falling out of love. To learn more about why people choose to divorce, read further.

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