If you and your spouse are divorced but you still have children together, there may be a time when one of you wants to hire a babysitter or a nanny to watch the kids. This is a time when that parent has official custody, but they still have something that they need to do, so they seek out a babysitter to watch the kids until they can return.
This can become very complicated for divorced parents. What if your ex chooses someone that you don’t like? What if you’re not sure that the children are safe? What if you just want to have a say in the process? This is very important to you because these are still your kids, whether or not you have custody at the moment, so you need to know what to do.
Communicating in advance is important
The most important thing you and your ex can do is to talk in advance about how you want to address this. Maybe you want to work together to find a babysitter that you can trust in all situations. Maybe you just want them to give you a chance to talk to the babysitter that they found before they officially start watching the kids. Maybe you want to conduct interviews together.
If you and your ex can communicate about this and work together to find the right person, that can limit a lot of potential conflict. But this is not always easy, and the two of you may not be on the same page.
The right of first refusal
Another thing to consider is the right of first refusal. This can be an official clause that you have added to your parenting agreement.
If you do this, it means that you always have the right to take the children yourself. Your ex has to contact you, tell you that they’re not able to watch them even though they have custody, and explain that they’d like to hire a babysitter. If you would simply like the children to come to your house instead, then you can refuse the babysitter and take over custody for your ex
A complicated situation
Situations with children can get very complicated and are clearly emotional for all involved, so be sure you also know what legal options you have.